He'll Also Tell the Teacher on You...

Oh, boy.

Before I get started, let me first say that people are human. We all make mistakes. We all deserve second chances. We also shouldn't take pleasure in someone else's pain. Unless that person is Doug Gottlieb, ESPN analyst and champion of the fourth grade insult contest.

From Deadspin:

(Note that this is a real ESPN chat. Gottlieb has the option to accept or ignore every question he receives.)

Mike Indiana: How did your mediocre basketball career prepare you for a mediocre broadcasting career?
Doug Gottlieb: (4:04 PM ET ) So your mediocre life can prepare you for a mediocre afterlife...and by the way, which one of us works for ESPN... hey and next time...when I you say 30 minutes or less....get here on time with my pizza.

Right... Bragging that one works at the worldwide leader does nothing to spare you the label of "mediocre". Just look at Bob Davie. Heck, even being a Hall of Famer doesn't make you a great analyst.

John (Notre Dame): Doug, I lost my credit card, where were you last night?
SportsNation Doug Gottlieb: (4:27 PM ET ) Ask your mom.

Referring of course to how Mr. Gottlieb left Notre Dame. Referencing the chatter's mother was a nice touch.

Johns Mom (Notre Dame): GOTTLIEB I KNOW YOU STOLE MY SON'S CREDIT CARD! SportsNation Doug Gottlieb: (4:34 PM ET ) Ten years ago I made a mistake...and payed for it...18 years ago YOU WERE your parents mistake and they are still paying for it.

Ooh, maturity. That's a great way to convince "Sportsnation" of your reformed ways.

That Gottlieb felt the need to respond to these questioners speaks volumes about the number of people who cared enough to spend their time chatting with the former USBL guard.

The man deserves a chance to reform his life, but this was just too good to pass by. Way to stick it to your naysayers, Douggie!